Monday, February 17, 2003

I think seeing two guys kiss is erotic.

I don't think two women kissing is a turn-on.

But I'd rather be kissing the girl.
I am typing this at the library. There is an acculturation class working across from me. Five guys from the engineering department who have never seen a computer.
Hi.

Long time?

Yeah.

I suppose it bears noting that I did not get a B in French. I passed. But I didn't make it through the summer. I got two B's, biology and history, and then this last fall? Horror. I had to drop French, quit the job I had for all of two months, got 3 B's (two in my major) and came very, very close to completely losing my mind.

But I'm better now.

Friday, December 07, 2001

I got a B. I know it already. I got a B in French.
I had an A (90.75) going in to the final, and I know for a fact that there is no way i got and A on the test, so there goes my GPA, down to a 3.645. I suck. I can't graduate Magna Cum Laude now. Therefore, I suck. Therefore, I have no right to exist.
Now someone please explain to me why i think purging would solve this?!

Tuesday, December 04, 2001

It's been a while.
Thanksgiving came and went with all the attached problems, although it could have been much worse. It was interesting to be told, over and over, that I had gotten skinny. Too skinny. I once would have cared, but now I don't. It mattered when i was actively trying to be thinner. Maybe that's the difference.
I won't pretend that I don't get a huge thrill when I realize that my size 12's are loose.
But I'm just sad.

Thursday, November 15, 2001

Okay. Let's put something straight here. Just becuase I don't go off the deep end, does NOT mean I don't get pissed. Just becuase I don't flip over every little thing, and I laugh at the things that hurt the most, does NOT mean I'm not bleeding inside.
This comes up becuase I apparently startled K quite a lot when I told her I had gotten pissed when she was lecturing me about ditching class yesterday.
I was royally pissed. I never accepted being lectured by my parents, and I'll be damned if I'll just take it from my roomate. We're kind of at odds. You see, she's two years older. So she feels like I'm not giving her enough credit for her experience, and I feel -- well, I feel like she doesn't give me enough credit for my intelligence.
So, I spent the afternoon and a good peice of the evening stewing quietly, before going to RCIA, almost starting crying in class, and getting loked in and having a panic attack. How fun.
"One Night in Bangkok". This song makes me frighteningly happy. It's the guys from ABBA, for goodness' sake. But the horn sections...man.
That song, and "Embassy Lament", plus "Opening Ceremony", are really the only songs that I like from CHESS. I find the rest of the musical horribly depressing. "Where I Want to Be" and "Nobody's on Nobody's Side" hit far to close to home.